I don’t know what happened. The blue birds are gone. There had been five eggs in the nest; now there are three. What happened to the other two? One day the male stands proudly on a post overlooking the nest while the female sits. A day or two later there is no sign of them. What happened?
I’m tempted to think it is my fault. Every time we go out the back door we are too near the nests. We tried to go out as little as possible. But the dog can’t take care of business out front when there are people around. Naturally we have a modest, distractible dog. I have been monitoring the nests, according to nest watch guidelines, of course. Maybe I scared it away. I was going in and out frequently when they were building though. And that doesn’t explain the two missing eggs.
Perhaps a snake got them. We haven’t seen any snakes, but they are slippery, secretive things. They don’t come out to say “hi!” But wouldn’t it come back for the remaining eggs? Perhaps it will. If this imaginary snake exists. Perhaps it was something else. I don’t know what it would be.
Meanwhile the chickadees go in and out of their nest box at a frightening clip. They sit in a tree or bush nearby and then dart straight in. When I’ve tapped on the box (following the nest watch guidelines, of course) I haven’t heard any sounds. If there are babies they aren’t very loud.
I have to believe there are chicks in there. Both adults go in and out so often. Sometimes it looks like they might be carrying something. When I do go out they get very excited. Instead of flying away they sit high in the tree and scold. I’ve heard you can tell how large the danger is by how many “dee’s” are in their warning call. They think I am extremely dangerous. They calm down quickly when I go away. Would they call so loudly if they weren’t protecting something? I don’t know. They didn’t before the nest. I have to hope.
I’ve discovered a cardinal nest out front. I can’t reach it and I won’t find a stool or make a mirror on a pole to try. I’ve reported the nest. I’ll watch the adults. I’ll watch for fledglings. That’s all I’ll do. Perhaps that is all I should have done in the first place. Do the people who make these guidelines take into account how very frightening I am? I just don’t know.
Things are greening out and blooming all over. We’ve had a decent amount of rain. Things are lush. It is nice today so I am able to sit with the door open. Children are at school. The neighborhood is quiet except for the occasional car and a vacuum cleaner down the way. All is at peace.
Only I with my questions and the darting chickadees have any apparent concerns.
Isn’t that the way with things? There are times of intensity. If we sit and listen, there are times of peace. The peace isn’t exactly still. It has a quality of acceptance though. I seem to be the only one in any way distressed. I want it both ways. I want the peace and I want the answers. I like to believe that if I sit and wait the answers will show themselves. Perhaps there are no answers. And waiting doesn’t come easily.
Nevertheless, I remain, within the peace, asking, watching and waiting.
I know not everyone has the luxury of sitting and watching their back yards. So what do you folks do with your questions? How do you watch and wait? Where do you find peace? I wonder.